Today Texas was visited by a blanket of snow. My emotions that only tend to get stirred by the beauty of snow and ice are pouting because they find themselves dormant yet another year. I'm sitting in my usual coffee shop in California staring out at unwelcoming gray skies and ugly palm trees. Christmas break is over and I've missed winter by only a few days (I'm reading A Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis... and can't help but think if Narnians could read this they would be baffled that I'm wishing for snow). No matter the weather, I am more than grateful to be back in California and am ready to begin another season of "furthering my education".
This year Christmas was frustrating, mournful, blank, and sad. Far from Merry. I've heard this happens to everyone at some point...having a Christmas that lacks the "happy factor". Or a vacation that only seems to highten exhaustion rather than exstinguish it. I gave myself time specifically to write. I clickity-chipped my computer keys till my thoughts came no more and my fingers were tired; yet, I found myself distracted, irked that i couldn't remember how to semi-colons in a sentence anymore, and too frustrated with my cliche imagery to finish anything. One thing I know, writing is not a simple task.
But I sit here desiring to write because these words are important for someone to hear. Because they have had a Merriless Christmas before too. They've had a Christmas filled with good and bad. A Christmas filled with beautiful moments. A shattered Christmas.Agrateful Christmas. And Christmases filled with deep hope amidst gloomy circumstances.
And this year I've decided it was okay that it was just... Christmas.
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